Doom and Gloom, clouds in the boardroom

Unlike many other popular expressions in the English language, 'Doom and Gloom' which has likely featured somewhere in every form of media since September 2008, is not derived from the King James Bible or that colossus of adage and maxim, William Shakespeare. The phrase has its humble beginnings in the 19th Century Newspapers in the U.S. - take for example this ominous titbit from The Statesville Landmark (1875) "Slowly, and with a tone of doom and gloom, the ponderous clock began striking." Moreover, the phrase was predominantly used in economic and political pieces. However, with nationwide literacy rates still relatively low in the mid 1870's (approximately 50% illiteracy in the U.S.) it's unlikely that Jeb from the anvil factory was going to pick it up and pass the ball till word spread of 'doom and gloom' and the devils earpiece invented by Alexander Graham Bell.

The modern proliferation of the expression can be attributed to that steadfast bastion of the American golden years, the Broadway musical. Specifically, it was the 1947 musical Finian's Rainbow (also popularised for later audiences through revivals and a film adaptation) which spouted a classic line from the pessimistic leprechaun Og "Doom and gloom... D-o-o-m and gl-o-o-m... I told you that gold could only bring you doom and gloom, gloom and doom.” Nowadays you may find "doom and gloom" employed as phrase of the crisis in all media forms. Googling "doom and gloom" proves its popularity also runs across industries - with articles on doom and gloom in finance, I.T., fashion and even fruit juice companies (economic Boost anyone?, Stimulus Jamba Juice?). Although the locution has its origins in Broadway, it is precisely that staple of popular culture that has been thriving despite the global gloom and doom. Broadway ticket sales are surging, even improving during the early part of 2009 on previous earnings from February 2008. True that some of this effect can be attributed to the potential 'ticket tax' that may be passed by New York state, adding an extra $10 to theatregoers bills, however the irony brings a wry smile to the faces of those who are jobless and have time to dig for it (this blogger falls into said category). How can the financial services industry, which has so long eschewed the values of honesty, integrity and basic competence we learnt from musicals such as Chicago (crooks become celebrity) and Westside story (ethical gangster show) suddenly owe so much to the not so humble song and dance narrative..right? Surely a musical about the falling giants of Wall St - complete with Bull symbolism, choreography in the shape of plummeting stock prices, a hedge fund that actually deals in hedges (those of the garden variety) to save itself and numbers like ‘Lehmann Brothers to the gutters’ - is in tall order (and I would say, timely). Also if produced before the NY ticket tax, it may even be profitable – thus becoming the only thing related to financial services that is so.

Doom and Gloom, like a team of parasitic bit-players (think the evil twins in Cinderella, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern in Hamlet) have filtered their way through the media, via a hopelessly deregulated U.S. market, to all of us to the point where we aren’t even buying underwear. Is there more of a basic human right to be denied? A society in recession and without underwear is a worry indeed. So the recession is real, Pacific Brands has canned 1,850 jobs in Australia, Macquarie Bank had a period prior to Christmas where almost 50 heads were rolling each week, and countless others in financial and other industries are afraid that any second the boss is going to lean over their desk and ask them to come in 'for a chat' or to simply leave with only their personal belongings. As if the layoffs weren’t enough bad PR for these large conglomerates, Pacific Brands, one of the great underwear suppliers (I have some) and now much maligned employers, are paying the Cato Counsel PR firm up to $50,000 per month to revive their public image. Somehow I think that strategy in itself will work against them. Perhaps there should be a PR firm to revive the PR of the PR firm hired to revive the PR of a brand with failed PR. The firm could be called Doom and Gloom PR, their mascot Og from Finian’s Rainbow, assuring us that despite the volatility of financial markets, not even ‘stable’ investments such as gold can escape a global recession “I told you that gold could only bring you doom and gloom, gloom and doom." An optimist might say that the bit players always lose out in the end (see Cinderella, etc), a realist might say this is just the beginning of the play and they will still make us scrub the dirty floors for a while.

One man’s recession is another man’s boom, as they say (I don’t know if anybody has actually said that, but surely someone has). Federal departments have too long been bogged down by mediocre staff, unable to offer top guns the salaries they receive in the private sectors. Now, with big name firms falling faster than a man without a parachute, Governments wait eagerly with napkins on laps, holding out the trampoline below. They are preparing for a net grab, to get the best hired guns who worked for the very companies that strove to find loopholes in federal law to maximise profits. Yes, the silver lining has come in 2009 and it’s called The Year of the Regulator.