FYI

From the Desk of:
Mr.Alfred Waled Ubani

With great pleasure I Mr.Alfred Waled Ubani, working with a bank here in Nigeria as a Manager. I am writing you in respect of a foreign customer (an Oil consultant/contractor with our National Oil & Liquidified Gas Sector) whom made a US$25M depository for an investment program that has remained dormant for years now. Hence, I have decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction.

On my personal investigation, I discovered that the account holder died on December 2002 in the Ukrainian aircraft crash. I made further investigation and discovered that the customer died without making a WILL on the depository.

It may interest you to know that I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be approved to a local Bank account here,but can only be approved to a foreigner with an account since the money is in US Dollars. I have decided as a matter of urgency upon this discovery now seek your permission to have you stand as next of kin to the fund as No one has ever come forward to claim this fund. It may also interest you to know that I have secured from the probate an ORDER OF MADAMUS to locate any of deceased beneficiary. In accordance to Nigerian Law, fund deposited for over a period of Six (6) years without claim will be reverted to the Government treasury, if nobody applies to claim this fund.

I will like you to provide immediately your full Names and Address,Date of Birth, Occupation, Tel & Fax Numbers so that an Attorney will be able to prepare the necessary documents and affidavit which will put you in place as the next of kin. The Attorney will draft and carry out the notarization of the WILL and also obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favour for the transfer.

At the successful conclusion of this business, your goodself shall be entitled to have 40% that is, USD$10M of the total money while I will have 55% that is USD$13.750M and 5% that is SD$1.250M for communications and other expenses. I am ready to invest a reasonable percentage of mine into any viable business you suggest as a joint partner. Your percentage will also be a source of upliftment. You have absolutely nothing to LOSE in assisting me instead, you have so much to GAIN. Be rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us.

Your response is highly imperative as this is a TWO-man business deal transaction as I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction. I need your assistance and co-operation to this reality as I have done my Home-work and fine tune the best way to create you as the beneficiary while I would use my connection and money to secure almost all the paperwork for this transaction which will be done by the Attorney and my position as the Branch Manager guarantees the successful execution of this transaction with you as the beneficiary to this fund.

I will appreciate your early reply for commencement of business.Contact me for acknowledgment by E-mail and whereby you are not interested,please indicate in your reply so that I can seek for the assistance of someone else.

If this proposal is acceptable by you, I expect that you will not take undue advantage of the trust I Will bestow in you. I await your urgent response.

Thanks with great regards.

Mr.Alfred Waled Ubani

Food poisoning your career?

A recent story on www.chow.com for you amusement.

Leftovers: The Career Killer
Does bringing your lunch hurt your chances for success?

By Helena Echlin

Dear Helena,

This coworker of mine, who is above me in the company hierarchy, usually brings her lunch to work—leftovers in Tupperware. The other day she asked me, somewhat seriously, whether it didn’t make her look less “successful” to bring her lunch, and whether it might hurt her in climbing the corporate ladder. I’d never thought about it before that moment, but then I wondered—did it? Don’t you have to look successful to be successful? —Concerned About My Friend’s Climb Through Middle Management

Dear Concerned About My Friend,

Bringing leftovers in Tupperware is like wearing an old cardigan to work: There’s nothing wrong with it, but it doesn’t project power and success. What you eat can send a subliminal message about who you are, just as much as what you wear. As Beverly Langford, author of The Etiquette Edge: The Unspoken Rules for Business Success, says: “Your lunch is part of your nonverbal communication, just like your jewelry.”

So what kind of meal says “management material”? The ideal lunch is expensive. “Having sushi delivered to the office reeks of power—and wasabi,” says Stan McElrae, creative director in a San Antonio advertising firm. By contrast, a Tupperware of last night’s lasagne makes it look like you’re struggling. “Those who pack a lunch are … typically crunched for cash,” claims Rupert, a legislative aide to a senator in Washington, DC, who did not want his real name used.

Your lunch should also be easy to consume. Langford recommends a sandwich, explaining: “You can eat it quickly; it makes you look like you’re a go-getter and you want to save time.” You shouldn’t bring lunch, because that could suggest you’re not completely focused on your work. People will know that you chose to spoon chicken fricassee into a container rather than get to the office five minutes earlier. Says McElrae: “I don’t think about that kind of thing when I get up in the morning; I’m thinking about whether I’ll get to Starbucks and what work I have to do that day.”

Another reason not to bring your own lunch is that it sets you apart. “It means you can never go to lunch with anyone,” Langford says. “It sends a signal: ‘Don’t invite me to go out with you.’” Even if your colleagues bring their food back and eat with you in the office, you’re still isolating yourself by eating separate food. Langford remembers: “I had a colleague once who was vegetarian and always brought her lunch. It was like a statement, ‘I’m different.’ It was tiresome.”

Most important of all, never bring anything smelly. Langford says, “One of the biggest complaints about working together is smells.” Sam, a legislative aide in Washington, DC, who asked that his last name not be used, particularly cautions against nuking fish leftovers in the microwave. “How do you contain the stench? If you close the kitchen door, the room will be foul for days.”

Put simply, if you bring the rest of last night’s fish curry, you risk losing the position to the guy who’s using pizza as a networking tool. As McElrae says, “There is nothing like ordering a pizza to unite everyone in the office.”

While I agree that home-packed-lunch might send off subliminal messages in the minds of your colleagues, the idea that you are just not cut to be a senior manager because of what you eat sounded absurd to me.

Ofcourse what you eat might dictate how you eat it. For example trying to eat 'chapati salan' at your desk might not make up for the tidiest meal thus reflecting poorly on your table manners etc.

Secondly, if you are really that self-conscious about how others might perceive you when eating left-overs from last night and thus susceptible to peer pressure, you just might not be senior-management material anyways.

I say, eat what you want and set a trend! Be a leader if you want that Director's position!

Link to Original story

Slinging Shit

This evening on National Nine News the headline read “the Naked Truth – Kevin Rudd visits a Strip club in New York”. Kevin Rudd has recently admitted visiting a New York strip joint after a conference in 2003 after “too many drinks”. In the wake of an election announcement, the timing is extraordinary. Recently it seems that Team Howard is trying to sling as much dirt as they can on the Rudd Train to see how much of it can stick.

A couple of days ago, the Australian stock market fell markedly reflected by the fall in the dollar. Team Howard subsequently stated that the opposition does not have the skills nor the experience to manage such a situation. But how does the Government control short term effects on the stock market? I am sure policies passed by the government have an effect on trading yet these are only seen in the long term. What sort of skills and experience are you talking about Mr Howard? The same economic skills that kept interest rates low? Perhaps Mr Howard called the US Federal Reserve and told them to start playing with their figures. Good work, Jonny.

If the Anti-Christ had a tattoo...

It would have to be this...
Yes, that's right, someone has actually tatooed the dreaded Blue Screen of Death error message on his arm. The link is here.

Invasion, what invasion?

In the weeks after 911, I remember hearing about the threat to American national security posed by the lack secret agents in the field. But I suppose the CIA wouldn’t compromise their agents by talking about where they are. Next time you're at the airport and there’s a man reading a newspaper, it could be Agent 56 from Control watching out for Siegfried…

It’s good to know that incompetence like this doesn’t just happen in the movies. It seems like real spies are more like Austin Powers than Jason Bourne.

In 1953 the CIA sent its first officer to Moscow, but he was so inept that he was seduced by his Russian housemaid - really a KGB colonel - photographed in flagrante and blackmailed.

During the Korean War, none of the CIA's 200 officers in the capital, Seoul, spoke Korean and many were accused of having fabricated their reports.

The CIA's difficulties in the Middle East are part of a long and undistinguished history. When Iraq invaded Kuwait in 1990, Robert Gates, then the agency's head and now the US Defence Secretary, was at a family picnic.

A friend asked him: "What are you doing here?" Mr Gates said: "What are you talking about?" She replied: "The invasion." Mr Gates responded: "What invasion?"

LIC positive

Make sure you don't take this pill...

Bass Harmonics

This is Victor Wooten on the Bass - something truly inspirational